Okay, I realize that God does not ask you if you want to be tall, thin, short, blue-eyed, etc., but IF He did take requests, and I was a tree, (I know….this is already crazy…but you were warned early on and you’ve just kept reading…it’s on you.) I would SOOOOO be one of those big ol’ bushy palm trees. I like big bushy palm trees and I cannot lie!
Isn’t it magnificent? This tree is just unapologetically saying, “Here I am, all big and fluffy. And I’m fabulous, aren’t I?” If I could honestly utter that same sentence and mean it, my issues would decrease exponentially. Why is it that this tree is so appealing to me? I think it is seriously my “spirit tree”. People have spirit animals, so I think it’s fair that I’m claiming this tree.
Truly, I would not want to be an Aspen (spell check keeps changing Aspen to Asian…so rude and racist! I would totally be Asian!) Sure, they’re all skinny and people want to admire them in the fall. But seriously, they “quake”…almost like they’re shivering with fear, and I don’t need that in my life. Plus, they’re one of the most disease ridden trees out there. Always sickly and quaking…no thanks. See, the people in this picture are probably marking all the sick, buggy, diseased Aspens and getting ready to chop them down.
Oak trees are appealing because they’re classic and solid. But they’re so not fun. Nobody has little strings lights in the shape of oak trees at their party. They’re like the grandfather of trees. Totally sweet and solid, but not a lot of pep.
Pine trees are aesthetically pleasing, but very prickly. Nobody wants to snuggle you if you’re prickly (physically or emotionally). You might smell amazing but you only get dressed up once a year and if you are chosen for this honor it means you’re going in the chipper sooner rather than later.
Pine trees can also be total jerks. My best friend, Amy, pointed this out to me many years ago and, because I have the mind of a child, it still cracks me up. You see, there are certain pines that literally appear to be flipping you off hundreds of times with their little “branch fingers”. Once you see this, you’ll never “unsee” it. Sorry, but it’s better that you know they’re mocking you. “Flip off trees” are all snug, and think they’re flying under the radar…but now you know. Tell others!
None of these trees can even stand up to the loveliness, fun, and sheer fluffiness of the bushy palm tree! You go, girl! Work those beautiful limbs!!
Update!! This just in from Amy. And, yes, she’s fabulous and no, you can’t have her. She’s mine.